WHAT MUSIC HAS GIVEN ME 

 

As a baby there was space to fill, and that space was filled with the kindest music possible teaching me about the world and how to treat other people 

my mother sang to me 

she sang to me all day 

and I started singing along 

singing was my first connection to music and it happened naturally, without thinking, it was something my body knew how to do already 

 

As a child I needed something to believe in, and that was rock and roll, something larger than my self that could transcend and create change in peoples minds, make them feel something across space and time 

 

As an adult I needed to find a way to believe in myself, a version of me that was bigger, bolder, unapologetic, my me-est me, and I find that on stage, I find authentic parts of myself that sparkle and spike and crackle and smoke, I dig them out of endless circles of anxious thought and outside forces constantly taring and probing & I get to look them in the face and carry that memory with me. I get to be honest with myself and alone with myself and at peace with myself 

 

I NEED MUSIC 

 

To self heal, to connect with human-beings in the human experience of existence, to feel less alone in our capitalism-induced isolation nightmare, to remind me that someone has felt the very thing that I am feeling right now or lived the same experience and got out alive, to give my life meaning and purpose, to contribute to the world, to validate my existence

TO PROVE I EXIST FOR OTHERS AND MYSELF

 

I want women to see me perform 

to see me imperfect, winging it, with fat rolls exposed

And give themselves permission to mess up 

And to create something ugly and beautiful 

To gain value in the things that formerly brought them shame

To love themselves boldly and honestly and fully, as I am endeavoring to do